September 11, 2001
On the morning of September 11, 2001, I was finishing a 1st platoon, leaving Manhattan on the Staten Island ferry as thousands of New Yorkers began their day working in lower Manhattan, many on their way to the World Trade center. Between the time I finished my tour (as a NYC police officer), and while I was driving home the first plan struck the World Trade Center. I watched T.V. hoping that this was simply not more than a small plane accidently flying into the World Trade center. When the second plane struck, a commercial airliner, I knew that something like the 1993 attacks was unwinding, only now perhaps of much greater consequence. When I arrived back at the 120th precinct confusion prevailed. Emotions and fear was prevalent as many of us had neighbors, friends, family who worked in and around the World Trade Center while others had family that were firefighters and EMT's. Some police officers left in vans others got on the Staten Island ferry. My Lieutenant requested that upon arrival in Manhattan I try to determine from Fire Department personal if there were need for the establishment of a temporary morgue in Staten Island.
By the time I arrived the North and South towers had collapsed. I never made it past the south side of the WTC (ground zero) but remember seeing people as they walked and ran along Church street with a look of shock on their faces. That evening building seven finally came down there were fireman, police officers and even civilians still walking about somewhat aimlessly, the air was rancid with a toxic odor of battery acid, sewage, dust and death. The prevailing mood was that of shock!
It is September, 2011; ten years after what were undeniably the worst attacks on American soil in the history of our nation. Many lost parents, spouses, siblings, friends, firefighters & police officers lost their lives in the performance of their duty, and people who took planes with the reasonable expectation that they would arrive safely at their destinations were robbed of that basic dignity and their lives as well.
In all nearly three thousand individuals began on the morning of September 11, 2001 believing it to be a day as any other but lost their lives with little chance of protest or thought that it would their last day. The youngest victim was only three years of age.
Sadly, there are no guarantees in life. One morning we are moving along as 'normal' and in a flash suddenly everything changes. On too many occasions I have had to look someone deep in the eyes and witness as this ever so present human reality of loss suddenly and without warning comes upon them.
Several years ago, a week before Christmas I responded to a near perfect little house, on a nice block in a middle-class neighborhood, decorated with great care for the holidays. The police radio gave the code which told us nothing more than, "a child having difficulty breathing." The EMT's had arrived moments before, and pronounced the little two year old deceased. I discovered from the parents that the baby had cancer from birth but was sent home for the holidays with a positive prognosis of a healthy, promising future. The child's father heard wheezing picked her up and she simply stopped breathing.
None of us can predict when tragedy will strike.
When it does come upon us, like the attacks of 9-11 the feeling is often that of shock. It is almost as if we expect that nothing like these things should ever happen. That we should in a sense not have to ever face the reality that life could end without warning, that a normal life is one without tragedy. I am in no way implying that we do not have the right or justification of not being prepared or experiencing the pain of loss. I am only making a point that every day we do have is to be valued because we never know.
September 12, 2001
On 9-12 after spending most of the night on the Staten Island ferry I returned to ground zero which had a now been transformed into place of intense activity. The dust and smoke was still thick though the extent of damage and carnage was becoming more clear. Heavy equipment, cranes and other large trucks were beginning to arrive while we all walked around without little or no regard of the extent of danger we were exposing ourselves to. Few had hard helmets or face masks to protect us from breathing in particulates that had been certainly pulverized to levels of fineness perhaps not even measurable or detectable by EPA equipment.
I recall at one point asking a fireman where I could find a face mask he looked at me pointed at a bus (ambulance) which had been crushed to the point of being beyond recognition, he said, "there's plenty in there"!
It was a miracle no one was killed in the rescue of effort of the first few days. Meanwhile we all knew just how unlikely it would be a human body could survive the implosion and incredible weight of collapsing steel and concrete not to mention the heat of fire.
We could only do our best because as long as there hope or the possibility that there was someone down or in there it was worth every effort.
How fragile we are
******
On the morning of September 11, 2001, I was finishing a 1st platoon, leaving Manhattan on the Staten Island ferry as thousands of New Yorkers began their day working in lower Manhattan, many on their way to the World Trade center. Between the time I finished my tour (as a NYC police officer), and while I was driving home the first plan struck the World Trade Center. I watched T.V. hoping that this was simply not more than a small plane accidently flying into the World Trade center. When the second plane struck, a commercial airliner, I knew that something like the 1993 attacks was unwinding, only now perhaps of much greater consequence. When I arrived back at the 120th precinct confusion prevailed. Emotions and fear was prevalent as many of us had neighbors, friends, family who worked in and around the World Trade Center while others had family that were firefighters and EMT's. Some police officers left in vans others got on the Staten Island ferry. My Lieutenant requested that upon arrival in Manhattan I try to determine from Fire Department personal if there were need for the establishment of a temporary morgue in Staten Island.
By the time I arrived the North and South towers had collapsed. I never made it past the south side of the WTC (ground zero) but remember seeing people as they walked and ran along Church street with a look of shock on their faces. That evening building seven finally came down there were fireman, police officers and even civilians still walking about somewhat aimlessly, the air was rancid with a toxic odor of battery acid, sewage, dust and death. The prevailing mood was that of shock!
It is September, 2011; ten years after what were undeniably the worst attacks on American soil in the history of our nation. Many lost parents, spouses, siblings, friends, firefighters & police officers lost their lives in the performance of their duty, and people who took planes with the reasonable expectation that they would arrive safely at their destinations were robbed of that basic dignity and their lives as well.
In all nearly three thousand individuals began on the morning of September 11, 2001 believing it to be a day as any other but lost their lives with little chance of protest or thought that it would their last day. The youngest victim was only three years of age.
Sadly, there are no guarantees in life. One morning we are moving along as 'normal' and in a flash suddenly everything changes. On too many occasions I have had to look someone deep in the eyes and witness as this ever so present human reality of loss suddenly and without warning comes upon them.
Several years ago, a week before Christmas I responded to a near perfect little house, on a nice block in a middle-class neighborhood, decorated with great care for the holidays. The police radio gave the code which told us nothing more than, "a child having difficulty breathing." The EMT's had arrived moments before, and pronounced the little two year old deceased. I discovered from the parents that the baby had cancer from birth but was sent home for the holidays with a positive prognosis of a healthy, promising future. The child's father heard wheezing picked her up and she simply stopped breathing.
None of us can predict when tragedy will strike.
When it does come upon us, like the attacks of 9-11 the feeling is often that of shock. It is almost as if we expect that nothing like these things should ever happen. That we should in a sense not have to ever face the reality that life could end without warning, that a normal life is one without tragedy. I am in no way implying that we do not have the right or justification of not being prepared or experiencing the pain of loss. I am only making a point that every day we do have is to be valued because we never know.
September 12, 2001
On 9-12 after spending most of the night on the Staten Island ferry I returned to ground zero which had a now been transformed into place of intense activity. The dust and smoke was still thick though the extent of damage and carnage was becoming more clear. Heavy equipment, cranes and other large trucks were beginning to arrive while we all walked around without little or no regard of the extent of danger we were exposing ourselves to. Few had hard helmets or face masks to protect us from breathing in particulates that had been certainly pulverized to levels of fineness perhaps not even measurable or detectable by EPA equipment.
I recall at one point asking a fireman where I could find a face mask he looked at me pointed at a bus (ambulance) which had been crushed to the point of being beyond recognition, he said, "there's plenty in there"!
It was a miracle no one was killed in the rescue of effort of the first few days. Meanwhile we all knew just how unlikely it would be a human body could survive the implosion and incredible weight of collapsing steel and concrete not to mention the heat of fire.
We could only do our best because as long as there hope or the possibility that there was someone down or in there it was worth every effort.
How fragile we are
******
In the “grand scheme of things” the untimely loss of life is far from uncommon to the human experience.
The decade that followed the 9-11 attacks led to more death in wars, as well as terror attacks in Spain, England the Soviet Union, India, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Iraq to name a few. Many of the lives lost were very likely “caught in the crossfire” of ill intentioned individuals bent on making a statement for their cause.
It is also easy to forget that during the crack epidemic in America in the 1990’s thousands died every year to violence on the streets and in homes. Even today, families lose loved ones to unnecessary accidents, and senseless criminality that may sometimes even include young children as victims. However, 9-11 represents, in some regards,even more than the horrible loss of life. For many the attacks symbolize a hatred for America and the potential for inspiring a pattern of systemic terror capable of making us hostages in the perceived freedom of our western life styles.
Any individual who understands what it means to love life will likely see terrorism with a sense of dread. In a similar way, even the most justified and well intentioned war might be seen with a similar disdain. An innocent child knows no difference between an improvised explosive device and a state of the art cruse missile. The senseless loss of life should always avoided.
As nuclear devices and bio/chemical-weapons become more available it is likely that in the future very few will be exempt from the possibility of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
At the heart of the matter is the fact that life is fragile.
September 13, 2001
By the 13th it all began to become at least partially real. While walking back from Ground zero there arose the painful display of pictures posted by family and friends who were hoping that someone had seen their spouse, father, mother, son, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend or co-worker. A store with windows completely covered in dust had a message written in bold letters; "F**K OSAMA" I sat with my Sergeant on the Staten Island ferry staring at lower Manhattan as we rode out into NY harbor. I could not think of anything to say he had not heard from his brother a firefighter whose company had responded to the WTC after the first plane hit. His remains were never found.
A poster was pinned to the wall of the police sub-station. It was a map of the middle East with the location of Afghanistan all blue like the appearance of a small ocean. The caption at the bottom read "Lake Afghanistan!"
******
What’s the cost?
Perhaps one of the most memorable statements made by President Bush after the 9-11 attacks was “freedom is not free”. However, what has been a very difficult question for America to answer collectively is, what does ‘freedom’ cost? Or, what are we willing to sacrifice for liberties that can easily be threatened by a minority of people bent on harming the innocent simply because they can and it will serve their agenda of getting their radical religious beliefs a platform in world media?
History, two world wars, in particular has revealed that the best way to immediately protect or guarantee our freedom is military might. However, are we willing to lose America’s greatest resource, our young men and women to the insanity of even the best planned wars? Are we willing to burden the economy, raising taxes for the expense of supporting America’s mighty military machine?
Are we willing to pay much more for oil and gas as a result of the disentanglement of America from the Middle East and move on to other energy sources at the cost of our standard of living and the stability of the economy?
Perhaps, a more inclusive question would go something like this, “what are we willing to sacrifice for peace and the guarantee that our children will be able to live in safety and pursue their dreams freely as those of previous generations?
In an age when science has made possible unique opportunities to communicate with such efficiency there may be alternatives to the traditional paradigm of costly military approaches.
September 14th and beyond
Every night from September 11th to January of 2002 I rode the Staten Island Ferry to and from Manhattan Island. In the days that immediately followed the attacks I would look at the statue of liberty and reflect on the greatness of America. As the nights, weeks and months passed I began to reflect a little more deeply about what America really stands for. As the days and weeks passed more people returned to work in manhattan and the precious gift of a normal life began to emerge once again. However, I did notice a change in the tone of conversation in those months that followed. My fellow police officers, and anyone willing to speak what was really on their minds began to ask questions. questions like; How could anyone inspired by religious fundamentalism think this was the right thing to do? How could a God of love allow the innocent to be killed without intervening.
I honestly believe these questions for these people, as well as the rest of us, linger in our minds. Sometimes it takes an event like 9-11, or some personal tragedy to bring questions like these to the surface.
What is America? (United we stand divided?)
*******
Media, Hollywood, religious conservatism, the greatness of American higher education, technological innovation, a deteriorating infrastructure, political freedom and corruption, economic opportunity, wealth creation and decades of the seemingly inescapable poverty of many Americans reveal the double mindedness and ambiguity of what exactly a definition of America looks like.
Think of questions like: what do we really stand for, what are we willing to sacrifice for a better world tomorrow? Think about how different Americans would answer such a question. Are our beliefs strong enough collectively to win over and transform a world from pain and suffering to what we have come to take for granted as basic human dignity and our own constitutional rights?
Is patriotism merely an emotion that allows the wealthy and politically connected to exploit the lives of young men and women in order to protect financial interests of those who view money and power as the most stabilizing factor in shaping the world? Or is patriotism a psycho-social tool to win votes even amongst those who sincerely believe in the soul of the American ? On the other side of the coin how many young people have been told that serving our country is to high a price to pay for our security collectively? Our colleges, clubs, and malls are filled with young people who are fully committed to the pursuit of materialistic hedonism, who are not even remotely emotionally moved by injustice, terrorism, or their potential role in the future of our nation or world.
If it becomes absolutely necessary who will stand in harm’s way to protect our loved ones and the future of our children and nation?
It seems that mistrust of government and leadership is slowly transforming into a lack of belief in the collective greatness of America.
It is becoming more difficult to answer the question, “what is America?”
What now?
One could make an excellent case for the historical brilliance of America’s unrivaled military achievements. Yet, with the “victories” in Afghanistan, Iraq, and perhaps even the possible domino effect of other Islamic nations such as Egypt, Syria, and Libya we are still confronted with a very significant question, what now?
Perhaps America’s military success needs to be considered in light of the real catalyst behind the
9-11 attacks, the heart of the issue, the problem of religious fundamentalism. Those who choose to harness the power of ideas and beliefs to inspire even the smallest minority of individuals to carry out dreadful acts against the innocent and defenseless. Though we can take solace in the fact that several terror attempts have been averted through the efforts of a very dedicated law enforcement personal, access to dirty bombs, biological & chemical agents along with the availability of crucial information on the internet leave us very vulnerable to attacks that the greatest military might, and the best emergency planning, can not protect us from. It seems essential that we turn to a strategy that can strike at the heart of terrorism and the perceived need for aggression. The core of the problem of radical - religious fundamentalism, Ideology and beliefs. It is here that America has no real weapon.
As a nation we are still struggling, still galvanizing the role of government in human rights, censorship and the importance of freedom of speech.
However, I believe we are approaching an age with some very unique opportunities.
The potential to spread the infectious and fundamentally sound beliefs and ideology through the internet along with the advancement of the sciences could prove to be an invaluable tool in the war on terror. America has the unique distinction of not being bound to the sponsorship of a particular religion. Rather, America should embrace the moral fabric that is written into our constitutional guidelines.
One could make an excellent case for the historical brilliance of America’s unrivaled military achievements. Yet, with the “victories” in Afghanistan, Iraq, and perhaps even the possible domino effect of other Islamic nations such as Egypt, Syria, and Libya we are still confronted with a very significant question, what now?
Perhaps America’s military success needs to be considered in light of the real catalyst behind the
9-11 attacks, the heart of the issue, the problem of religious fundamentalism. Those who choose to harness the power of ideas and beliefs to inspire even the smallest minority of individuals to carry out dreadful acts against the innocent and defenseless. Though we can take solace in the fact that several terror attempts have been averted through the efforts of a very dedicated law enforcement personal, access to dirty bombs, biological & chemical agents along with the availability of crucial information on the internet leave us very vulnerable to attacks that the greatest military might, and the best emergency planning, can not protect us from. It seems essential that we turn to a strategy that can strike at the heart of terrorism and the perceived need for aggression. The core of the problem of radical - religious fundamentalism, Ideology and beliefs. It is here that America has no real weapon.
As a nation we are still struggling, still galvanizing the role of government in human rights, censorship and the importance of freedom of speech.
However, I believe we are approaching an age with some very unique opportunities.
The potential to spread the infectious and fundamentally sound beliefs and ideology through the internet along with the advancement of the sciences could prove to be an invaluable tool in the war on terror. America has the unique distinction of not being bound to the sponsorship of a particular religion. Rather, America should embrace the moral fabric that is written into our constitutional guidelines.